If we really wanted to fix the WBC so the U.S. would win...

Japan won the first World Baseball Classic against Cuba last night, and I'm sure a lot of people are surprised that the Americans didn't make it out of the second round. After all, baseball is America's game, and no country could possibly come close to our talent, right? Well, I'm going to explain a guaranteed way that the U.S. would win the WBC every time it's held. Hang on tight, kids.

Change the status of Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico is "unincorporated territory of the United States" or a "commonwealth." Only plenary powers of the U.S. Congress directly apply to them, and even the relationship between the two countries is pretty cloudly. The United Nations voted that Puerto Rico was a self-governing territory, while the U.S. House Committee of Resources claims that P.R. doesn't satisfy the basics for full self-government. If the island of Curacao, a self governing part of the Netherland Antilles, is included in the Netherlands team (well, they pretty much are the Netherlands team), then Puerto Rico should be part of the U.S. team. We'll ignore the fact that they have their own Olympic team (1 gold, 5 bronze medals). Hell, they use the U.S. dollar as their currency, and they hosted half of the Montreal Expos home games for two seasons!

Blame the U.S. Congress of 1869

Buenvenatura Báez Méndez, the Dominican Republic's President begged nations to use their imperialism to annex his country. He whored them to the French (no deal), the Spanish (annexed them in 1861, abandoned them in 1865), and to President Ulysses S. Grant after that. He convinced Grant to bring warships to the Dominican and they drafted an annexation treaty that reached the floor of the U.S. Senate. Grant was in favor of annexing the Dominincan, but unfortunately for baseball fans centuries later, the Senate wasn't. Let's put the deal back on the table and finish it for good this time!

How would this have potentially altered things?

Here is the U.S. lineup for the WBC:

Johnny Damon, LF; Ken Griffey Jr., CF; Jeff Francoeur, RF; Alex Rodriguez, 3B; Derek Jeter, SS; Chase Utley, 2B; Derrek Lee, 1B; Michael Barrett, C; Mark Teixiera, DH;

Pitchers of note: Roger Clemens, Jake Peavy, Brad Lidge

Puerto Rico's additions:

Carlos Beltran, CF; Javier Vasquez, P; Ivan Rodriguez, C;

Beltran would move to RF where his 2 HRs and 5 RBIs kicks out USA's platoon right field. Vasquez provides more depth at starter, and Rodriguez's cannon arm and .286 average (5 for 21) are a tremendous upgrade compared to the hitless U.S. catchers combined (Barrett and Brian Schneider, 0 for 12).

Dominican Republic's additions:

Albert Pujols, 1B; Adrian Beltre, 3B; David Ortiz, 1B/DH; Placido Polanco, 2B; Bartolo Colon, P;

Stick Pujols anywhere on the field, put him in RF, let him pitch. As tough as a call as it would be to sit Derrek Lee, Pujols would definitely be an upgrade. The U.S. is solid at 3B with Rodriguez and Chipper Jones, but you can't ignore Beltre's .300 average with 4 HRs and 9 RBIs. David Ortiz would play DH. Even his .150 (3 for 20) beats Mark Teixeira's 0 for 15 WBC. Oh, and Big Papi's 3 hits were all home runs... Placido Polanco batted .500 (9 for 18) and would give the U.S. better quality at 2B, and Bartolo Colon (1-0, 0.64 ERA in 14 IP) would have replaced Dontrelle Willis (2 losses and a 12.71 ERA in 5.2 IP)

So there you have it... with a team THAT stacked, there's no way anyone could ever beat us, right? Now all that's left to be done is file all the Congressional legislation before the next WBC in 2009!